every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
