"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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