think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
