I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
