so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So vagazzling was a success
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
