Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
