Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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