Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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