Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
