what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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