Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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