let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
