so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
