I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize