he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
