so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i came on her dog
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
