I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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