i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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