I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
