I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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