My friends, they love my intelligence
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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