Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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