So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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