I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
