Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
