And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We are two peas in an std pod
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
