Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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