i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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