somebody snuck up and got me drunk
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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