If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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