There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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