AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
