Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
