no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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