ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
