I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
