How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
