Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just high enough for therapy.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
