alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
