but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
