she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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