If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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