After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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