yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
