oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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