Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
