u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
