I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
