I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
