The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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