It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
