i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
