Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Randomize
