you guys were way drunker than both of me
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
