Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
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