Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
