By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize